My version of heaven

“My version of Heaven is the ability to eat as many cookies and other sweets without gaining weight" -  My friend said this quote today and it made me think, what's mine?

....today my version of heaven is what she said (always) plus not getting pushed/shoved by a stranger for just one day. For one whole day I don’t want to be touched by a stranger. I don’t want a stranger to be close enough to me so I can smell their breath, or smell them at all. (all you over-cologners included). I just want to be surrounded by a mini-1 foot box around me at all times for one little day. Dance space people Dance Space (dirty dancing anyone)? Please oh Lord please let me heaven come true tomorrow!

Today was terrible for the pushing and the shoving. Of course (of course!) the train I got on at Green Park had issues. So I stood on a train for 20 minutes before it moved with the doors wide open - which just makes more people try to cram on the train and cram on the train and CRAM on the train until the doors close. *(side note 1) To those cramming on the train I want to say “did you take physics? Or math at all?, you - yes you person are approx. 6 feet tall and at least 24 inches wide – and those dimensions DO NOT fit into the square one foot box you see on the train....so thank you for cramming onto this train and shoving my purse farther under arm, the man’s elbow closer to my back and the person’s knee into mine that I am starting to bruise – so back to school you idiot!

*Side note 1 - There is nothing better than a train driver that is a “fast door closer” – Its funny to watch people’s faces when they are running for a train and BOOM – door shut. I mean, I make a terrible sad face and it happens to me all the time, and yes people stare....I’m used to it by now stop feeling bad for those folks another train is coming in 2 minutes...usually that is, or maybe 50% of the time!

So back to the cramming on the trains....I always do my make-up in transit...sitting at home doing makeup is a waste of time. So tube, car, train, taxi, whatever – if I am in transit makeup is being applied. So on the crammed tube I am always sticking my elbow in some guys chest attempting to apply the perfect coating of mascara* (side note 2) and some girl staring at me – because girls always stare at girls doing makeup. The eyelash curler is always the one that gets guys....they look at me like a 3 eyed monster, which I probably do look like with my eye wide open lashes slammed between two metal rods. But anyway – the crowded trains are a) terrible for makeup because then I have to balance b) so annoying because I am being touched in at least 4 places and c) takes 3 times as long because I can barely move and therefore have no time to read my US Weekly on the tube- boo.

*Side note 2 - Dior Show black is the best btw – can’t live without

So tomorrow or sometime in the next 3.5 months I am begging for my version of heaven to come true...now that I am writing this it might be the reason I am hermit on the weekends... no one can get to me in my flat (but I am beginning to re-think this as I feel the walls closing in on me in our tiny tiny space).

I do realize in a few months I will look back and appreciate this time. But not at 8:30am on Monday morning. Here’s hoping for tomorrow.

Best

Anne

PPS - No I don't know the randoms....just picks of the crowded tube.